Signs that you are grown up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

3. 6:00 a.m is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

4. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

5. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

6. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

8. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won’t turn down the stereo.

9. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

10. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

11. You take naps. Continue reading →

Parrot and The Magician

There was this magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show. He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances. Life was sweet. The money was rolling in, he had one of the best cabins, ate the best food, mixed with the best people. All was fine until one day the captain bought a parrot.

The highlight of the parrot’s day was going along to see the magician in action in the evening. During the magician’s performances, the parrot would watch him very carefully during each trick, and immediately after the magician had completed the trick the parrot would call out in a loud squawk, ” It’s up his sleeve, it’s up his sleeve,” or, ” It’s down his trousers, it’s down his trousers,” each time ruining the magician’s trick.

Well life was no longer as sweet and the magician started to struggle to satisfy the passengers. The magician naturally got very tired of the parrot and longed to kill it.

Then one night in the middle of the magician’s performances, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone was killed except for the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage, climbed aboard and collapsed. The parrot flew towards the magician and perched on the edge of the raft and stared at the magician.

For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot did not take his eyes off him. Eventually the magician started to stir, and looked up not really knowing where he was or what had happened. He eventually found enough energy to sit up. He then noticed the parrot, who had not stopped focusing his eyes on him all this time.

“All right I give up …” chirped the parrot, “… What have you done with the ship ?”

Global Warming

Well I’ve said something about this in two posts earlier. Do you want proof that it’s really happening?? Then here it is.

Now that you believe, please try and attempt to stop it.