Tag: rules

The Art Of Writing

/ Guttu / 4 Comments

Boom..
Dhooom…
Splash…
Dhish.. Dhush.. Bhiskyaw..

Don’t run away. I have not gone mad. These are the sounds of the firecrackers telling the whole world that I am back with a bang. It’s been almost a month since my last post. Reasons are obvious and these hurdles in blogging seem to be perpetual. You can go through my archives to find the probable reasons if you are still interested.

As for the the post title, I am going to tell you some secrets of writing. These secrets were discovered by me in the last whole month with some extensive re-search(Notice and read the hyphen). This will change the whole blogging world and anyone who reads further will take a big step towards writing. I suggest to stumble, digg or bookmark this post as soon as you finish.

Here are the five secrets of writing.

  • Read books by controversial authors. Learn from them how to create a controversy. Implement it in your writing and find yourself everywhere. You’ll find yourself on YouTube videos featuring peoples using your poster as toilet paper. This will increase your popularity exponentially as YouTube is very popular.
  • Create characters which will indulge in romance. Doesn’t matter if it’s straight or the opposite of straight. What’s important is the romantic, erotic description of them making love.
  • Use abusive and vulgar language. That’s a “must” rule in modern writing. If you don’t know to write using vulgar words, Go fuck yourself. (This is just example. Not meant to you)
  • Hire a ghost writer. He will write for you and you’ll get paid x number of times more than him. Do not use this trick if you are afraid of ghosts.
  • Learn foreign languages like Chinese, Japanese, Korean and translate their literature in English. They hardly read English literature and very few English literates read their literature.  Don’t think it’s plagiarism. You are doing a work of honor by spreading the knowledge around the world rather than restricting to a certain region.

Follow these rules and you are on the right path of success(I wonder if there is any wrong path of success). Please give credit to me or this post at least for your success.

Keep Blogging and Keep Writing…
Think Nonsense…

P.S. : The sound of firecrackers at the start of this post turned out to be those used in Diwali celebrations. I thought…

Boss first

/ Guttu / 2 Comments

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales representative. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

So far the jobs I did I followed above rules. I always let him say what he wanted and I was the last to comment. That may put a bad impression at start that you don’t know anything. But slowly the boss of your work realizes and understands. Another advantage is that troubles by his decisions will not be blamed upon you. That’s for sure. Anyone starting or joining first job make a note of this.

Think Nonsense….